We all make New Years resolutions…to quit smoking, to spend more time away from work, to save some money, to get organized. But more than any other resolution, people say they are going to eat better or lose weight. Neither of these resolutions can be accomplished by giving up beer. I am not a scientist, so I cannot give you all of the technical medical data on why a couple of beers each day is good for you. Maybe another time. But I do know that if you try to start a new diet that cuts out beer, you will not be on that diet for very long.

“The first, indeed the only, requirement of a diet is that it should lose you weight without reducing your alcohol intake by the smallest degree,” wrote Kingsley Amis in On Drink. Why would you want to stop drinking beer just to lose a few pounds? I feel that you would be better off trimming your food intake, and maybe even doing some dreaded exercise, but still enjoying sweet, sweet beer.

Still, it may not be prudent to drink Stout beer everyday (Sierra Nevada Stout is 225 calories per beer and 22 carbs, the highest I saw) but if you mix in some light beers during the week you should be able to shed some pounds, or at the very least maintain your girlish figure. That’s why I gathered my usual tasting panel the other night for a round 13 light beers.

Of the big-brand light beers, the only we didn’t try was Miller 64, which has only 2.8% abv. That’s terrible — really just strong water. Now, there is some correlation between calories and alcohol content. Malt liquors and ice beer, for instance, generally have a higher calorie count, and a higher alcohol content. This can would be important if you are picking beer strictly to get a buzz. You could do some math and figure out that one Mickey’s Big Mouth may give you more alcohol per calorie than three Beck’s Light. But if you want to stick to your resolution, then check out my tasting panel below.

Since the light beers in our panel were so well known, our tasting was done blind to guard against prejudices such as “a bad night in college” or assuming low cost equals bad beer or simply habits like “I always buy Coors Light.” I was amazed by how firmly drinkers remained in their light beer prejudices — even if proven wrong in the blind tasting.

Coors Light
104 calories/ 5 carbs and 4.1 % abv— compared to Coors Original 150 calories/12 carbs and 4.9% abv.

I brought the Silver Bullet out first since everyone on the panel had significant experience drinking this and it would serve as our baseline. Definitely not a big winner, even among those who claim to be fans. Michele mentioned that it had a “shockingly bad smell” and Dave mentioned he would rather have it in “a red plastic cup so I couldn’t see through it.” Most commented on its lack of taste or its poor taste.
 

Miller Light
96 Calories/3.2 carbs — 4.2 % abv

Miller bought the Meister Brau brand in the late 1960s, and turned the recipe for Meister Light into Lite Beer from Miller. That means I should love it, as I loved (now discontinued) Meister Brau and wish it will soon be re-released. But in this tasting, it did not hold up to several beers in the category — I felt even Bud Light tasted better. Most others felt that it had little or no flavor. We later tasted it against directly against Coors Light and everyone enjoyed Miller Lite more.

Heineken Light
99 calories/ 6.8 carbs and 3.8 % abv— compared to Heineken at 150 calories/11 carbs and 5% abv

This was met with apprehension because of its smell. Since I knew what it was, I can tell you it has that famous Heineken nose, but others reacted badly. Some didn’t like the first sip, but after two sips, all were hooked. Jenn asked if it was German, which wasn’t a bad guess.Walt guessed it right on the first try, which is fairly impressive. Released in 2006, this is a relative baby in the light-beer market, but young or not it was declared a winner by all. “Grab a Heiney (Light)!” I proclaim. However: at $7.60 a six pack, this and Amstel Light were the most expensive we tasted.

Rolling Rock Light
106 calories/ 5.9 carbs and 4.1 % abv— compared to Rolling Rock 130 calories/10 carbs and 4.5% abv

Overall, Rolling Rock Light received good marks. Jill started by announcing how “great” this one tasted. Michele thought it was creamy, Jenn thought it was fruity, but I thought it actually tasted a bit sour (not that fruit can’t be sour). Dave agreed that it had “a wang to it.” When I said it was Rolling Rock Light, Jill yelled, “But I hate Rolling Rock Light!” The truth is, our minds greatly impact our taste preferences. A little-known fact is that Rolling Rock is vegan-friendly. I, on the other hand, am not.

Beck's Premier Light
64 calories/ 3.9 carbs and 3.8% abv— compared to Becks 143 calories/10 carbs and 5.0% abv

Beck’s Light is the lowest-calorie and lowest-carb beer that we tasted. Beck’s has a similar “issue” to Miller 64 at 3.8 abv, but it has a great taste and if you are drinking all night it works fine. Everyone did not like its aroma, but all liked its flavor. Several people didn’t like its carbonation, either. I'm not sure why— maybe in the same way people don’t like champagne because it bothers their nose. Dave said he didn’t really like it until I said it was Beck’s. He said, “Never mind, I like it!”

Bud Light
110 calories/ 6 carbs and 4.2 % abv— compared to Budweiser 145 calories/10 carbs and 5.0% abv

Bud brought out its light beer in 1982 to compete with Miller Lite, and in 1992 became the largest selling light beer in America. I am not sure our group will add to its large following. Michele mentioned it smelled “cheap”. “It’s cold,” is the best thing Walt could say. “Drinkability” is their current slogan, and our panel seemed to tolerate the taste. At one point Jenn and Walt both said, “This could be my drinking-game beer.” Jinx.

Milwaukee's Best Light
98 calories/ 3.5 carbs and 4.5 % abv— compared to Milwaukee’s Best 128 calories/11 carbs and 4.3% abv

One of two beers served from a can. I could not get a six-pack, but at 30-pack price, it worked out to less than $2 per six-pack. Again, knowing that is a blessing and a curse. If I bought it and served it in glass pitchers, some might ask: “What is this intriguing beer?” In a can, they’d say: “Why are you serving this ass to me?” Jill’s comment: “Eww eww”. Then, when I told her it was Beast, a tear came to her eye because it had been her college favorite. Though she did admit that they would spring for a better, more expensive six-pack as a starter. Walt and Dave enjoyed this well enough, but the consensus was it was not a top-flight light.

Natural Light
95 calories/3.2 carbs and 4.12% abv.

At $3.49 a six-pack and poured from a can, Natty Light, once again, was the surprise of the tasting. Natty got reviews like “creamy, delicious” and “could drink it all night.” Most ranked it in the top three of the night. In two different blind tastings Natty has done incredibly well. Maybe they should raise their price and change the marketing plan to go upscale. Gee, I hope not.

Amstel Light
99 calories/ 5.3 carbs and 3.9 % abv

For me, this was the next biggest surprise of the tasting. Amstel is always the light beer at a wedding or event when the host is trying to splurge or show off. It should be better, especially at $7.60 a six-pack…first opinions ranged from “smelly” and “yuck” to “Is this Corona Light?” I ‘ve never been a fan and now hopefully we can move on. Rolling Rock Light or Heineken Light are much better choices. Hell, Natural Light got much higher reviews. Maybe that’s why they don’t sell Amstel Light in Amsterdam (I have been there, and could not get a straight answer if what they sell as “Amstel” and our Amstel Light are the same beer).

Yuengling Light Lager
98 calories/ 6 carbs and 3.8 % abv— compared to Yuengling 135 calories/ 12 carbs and 4.4% abv

Pottsville, Pennsylvania’s finest light beer is a conundrum. I’d never tried it before and found a nice golden color with a good head, but my tasting notes say, “just tastes terrible.” Other than someone saying she would drink it at a party “if forced to,” reviews ranged from bad to worse. Michele and Jenn, however. found there to be a “nutty and fruity” smell and taste. They might be getting a little nutty and fruity.

Corona Light
109 calories/ 5 carbs and 4.5 % abv— compared to Corona 150 calories/ 14 carbs and 4.6% abv

We are not here to debate citrus fruit in beer, just light beer. But I started out the pitcher without a lime and several people still really enjoyed Corona Light. Jill even liked it better without the lime, which I added after everyone’s glass was half-finished. Others, however, did enjoy what the lime added. If you have Corona Light without a lime, it is actually not a terrible beer. It ranked better than Bud, Miller, and Coors light sans lime.
Also note: There is no difference in abv or taste between Corona Light and regular Corona, so save yourself the 40 calories.

Miller High Life Light
110 calories/7 carbs and 4.2% abv — compared to Miller High Life 143 calories/13 carbs and 4.7% abv

I have been drinking the High Life for several weeks now and I’ve been enjoying it — so I now firmly believe that you can teach yourself to enjoy any beer. The rest of the group did not agree with my High Life cheerleading. Jenn said that it tasted like it smelled, HORRIBLE.  Dave asked, “Have you been in a tongue accident?” After 12 beers, others’ notes became illegible. I still stand behind recommending either High Life — just don’t drink a better beer before you have one.

Michelob Light
113 calories/6.7 carbs and 4.3% abv — compared to Michelob 155 calories/ 13.3 carbs and 5% abv

I can tell you for sure that 13 beers is way too many, especially if you want meaningful feedback on the last beer. Poor Michelob. Most people either wrote nothing or just wrote the name of the beer. Jenn’s notes say “no smell great taste could drink this all night long” and she may have. I did end up with one left and drank it the next day. It had a nice beer flavor and I have to admit, was better than the High Life. I have one place on earth that I drink Michelob Light on draft. That is the Rod and Reel Pier on Anna Maria Island, Florida. The manager Dave, once told me, “You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.” Michelob Light reminds me of that premise and therefore holds a warm spot in my heart.

Tyler Wilson drinks beer. Email him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Header photo by mrbula via Flickr (Creative Commons), "The Brew" photograph from Flickmor via Flickr (Creative Commons), "Bottle" photograph from istockphoto.com.